Am I being punked?

I got these pictures in an email this morning, do they look real to you?

Cuz if they are, they should be on the Today Show or whatever show, cool and unusual elk would be on?

Hubby and I are/have been avid hunters for years and I've seen one albino elk in my 43 years of playing out in the woods. I don't hunt anymore but my hubby is...well a fanatic. These two gringo elk were spotted not to far from where hubby hunts.

I think they should move...soon.

Can you see the normal elk in between the 2 white ones?

They are pretty aren't they?

Other news from my neck of the woods.

It's a sad day.

The newspaper called the "Rocky Mountain News" is shutting down. I loved that news paper. They put it together so you could read it like a book...I know I'm a dork.

It was the largest newspaper in Colorado and it will be dearly missed.

Hmmm

Kids are well.
It's beautiful outside.
I got 4 hours sleep.
Not working out today.
Taking a nap.

Cool and Creepy

I did 35 minutes on the Wii today. I did too many stomach things. I know it's good for me, but dayam!

Josh is home sick today :( This flu or whatever it is, is a pain in the butt for Josh. Chris had a 103 degree temp and he didn't move, eat or go to the bathroom for 3 days. Now he's right as rain. Poor Josh got a sore throat for 3 days and then he lost his voice for a few days. He had uber amounts of snot for days. Almost a week later he gets the stomach part of it...poor kid. This morning I didn't believe him that he was sick.

When will I ever learn?

He was maybe 5 and we were going a few towns over. Josh was throwing a fit because he didn't want to go...said he didn't feel good. I didn't believe him and we went. He was laughing and running like a wildman...so I really didn't believe him. We stopped at a fast food place on the way, got the food, set it on the table, Josh power puked everywhere. I didn't know what to do, so I just did a little curtsy and apologized to the entire restaurant and ran out. That was the first of many incidents all because I don't believe him.

Last year he kept telling me his knee hurt...what ever, your just trying to get out of chores. Ya know where he learned that from right? Yeah..I was fresh out of a knee surgery and I didn't have to do any chores...

I finally give in and take him to my knee doc and they brought a wheelchair into the exam room and made it very clear to me that he was not to step on that leg...he would have surgery in 3 days. WTF? Yeah... I still feel guilty for that one. He doesn't seem to feel pain like you or I do. Or he doesn't express himself like you or I would. I don't know but when he says he's sick, I'm learning that I should either put him to bed or call an ambulance????

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This is what I woke up to this morning...kinda cool, but also kinda creepy.

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So that is my attitude today..cool and creepy :)

Wii not FIT!

I got on the Wii this morning knowing that I didn't lose any weight since I was on 3 days ago. AHEM...I was set straight immediately...it was an entire week?

Are you sure?

It has been a week?

The rotten little green spirit thingy that floats around to make you nervous says "You gained 4 lbs, would you like a tip?" OH I'll give you a tip...you dirty rotten M**^$%$%$(*$&(#&*(*@# *(%.

I'm better now...really.

Has anyone done the boxing yet? I almost killed my t.v. Seriously, there is a little ding right in the middle of the screen. I couldn't move my arms for a week, but I kilt the talking boxing bag.

I am going to post how much I exercise on here everyday.

Well the days that I post.

Dear god please help me to remember to work out...please?

Today I did 33 minutes and 3 reps of 12 for the fat stomach on my bow flex.

Did you see my new profile picture? I totally stole the idea from Candid Carrie.

No one touches my camera...no.one.

So I had to stand in the bathroom and pose for myself. It's pretty entertaining to say the least. I know the picture is not very good either. I pushed several buttons trying to get the flash to stay off and I shouldn't have touched nothin. I will probably be stuck with blurry pictures from this day forth.

Whatever.

As soon as I talk Rhonda into coming for a visit...I'm sure she'll fix it for me!

I am still checking out schools. The college that is in the little town 20 miles from here offers a distant learning class.

BUT!

It would be for a medical assistant.

I would still get to say "Good Morning Hottie" to the doctors that way.

Ha ha if you could only see the doctor in the clinic here in my town. He is a little short Asian dude. Every time hubby goes in, Doc says "you fat" as he pats hubby's belly. He's a smart one though...he has never.ever. said "you fat" to me.

My niece gave me this cool little gadget for Christmas. I love plants and flowers, but I didn't think this little guy was going to make a flower garden..

Those are petunia's bloomin...in February...cool huh?

My roses from Valentines day are almost done...can you kinda see the barn? It's almost done too. My little carpenter grew gills and went home. You can't tell from the picture but it is raining...and it's supposed to continue allllll week. blech, I hate mud.

Updates

I have been stealing stuff again!

I got this one from Asthma Girl...I am the queen of shopping see the picture? It proves it! Go here to make your hero.

OK serious stuff now.

I met with the tech school yesterday and it sounds like it would be a really good career move, the hours are 8am to 1pm Monday through Thursday.

Perfect right?

During the kids school year it would be easy peasy...

during the summer it's not so much doable.

Remember I live 10 miles from any

thing and the school is 50 miles away.

AND! Remember we have wildfires several times every summer, and when one of those baby's hit...you drive like a bat out of hell to get off of the mountain because there is only one road in and out.

My boys swear they would be fine, which is very sweet of them, when I know they are really terrified. I just can't make myself do that to them. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to them. So I am going to ask one more question of the school...can I split it up so I attend school while my kids are in school??

I really love where I live, really. But I get really tired of everything being such a big deal when you want to go somewhere. It is a huge deal to have anything delivered...I usually have to go to town and show them the way up.

Unless you are the Russian dude from Dish Network...he found me way too easy.

Speaking of which.

The hot little Russian dude was here again today lol.

I slunk off upstairs and let hubby deal with him this time. Hubby thought it was pretty funny! Damn Dish Network is a pain in the ass lately!

I'm a sceeerd

I have an appointment with a tech school in the city this morning...I'm looking at medical transcription/coding classes...12 months of school!

What have I done?

I'm already thinking of reason's why not.

My sister, who works in *the* hospital in the city did tell me that medical coders make at least $20 an hour. That put a little skip in my step, and then she told me that the radiology department got rid of all of their transcribers and replaced them with computers.

There went the little skip.

What if Deb and I do all of this work only to be replaced by a dang ole computer that won't even tell the cute doc's "good morning, hottie"?

I have a ton of questions for the poor poor lady that will be helping me today.

OK I'm off to tame the mane...that's a good enough reason to work from home...I have Medusa hair on a good day...everyday is a bad hair day.

Check this out

Remember how... I have told all of you, that I am stumped as far as a writing subject everyday?

Wellll, I stole this idea from Rhonda.

God I love to steal things from you guys...just kidding...sort of.

Anyway Rhonda told me about this place called blogsvertize. It's kind of a neat idea, you review products for advertisers and get a little ka-ching for it.

I was looking for someway to make money and stay home with the children/critters...this probably won't feed us all though :) They/I really do eat

A LOT!

Anyway go check it out.

Maybe we could make enough money to take a trip and have a big ole blog party, at my house, I am kind of in the middle of you all. Deb will bring the toys, Marilyn will bring me a buffalo of my very own, Jill can bring herself and her sis to fix us if we get wounded in the process, Asthma Girl will bring her Brut Squad to keep Buddha busy while we visit. Snooty is going to make us some yummy lobster quesadilla's, Tiff is coming to keep us laughing at her colorful southern language and to take a much needed break from her life.

OK, if I left you out...appoint yourself something fun and lets make some money from these people.

How's that? Do I get the job? Huh?? Do I?

All Alone

Ever feel like this?

That's how I feel today.

This is not my picture of course...I snagged it off of the internet...of course.

This is what they said about it.

This shot is taken on a Norway’s cliff Prekestolen (also known as Preacher’s Pulpit).

That would probably be a fitting place for me to go today...the Preacher's Pulpit.

The WINNERS ARE....

OK, so I haven't forgotten all of you that entered the giveaway. First place is taken but the other 2 prizes will be drawn for. You guys gave some good ideas and I can't decide, I'm wishy washy like that.

1st place goes to Snooty. I actually have checked on the Medical transcription field already and I think it's going to work for me. You can work as much or as little as you want. You plan your vacations. You work in your jammies which by the way...sealed the deal. I can also work in offices or hospitals later on in my life if I need to. Sooo Miss Snoots gets 1st.

Second place goes to.....I have to go find a hat brb.

I had Chris, who is home sick from school do the drawing. I kid you not...he drew Mrs Parks twice. She has better odds I guess :) We love her so much around here ya know. I almost had to call 911 this morning when I read her last comment about chicken sexing with a piece of toast in my mouth. Someday I will learn not to read her with food or beverage.

So I made him do one more for the third place winner and he drew out Karla. It was in the stars. Karla just recently went through a house fire and she is living with her mom and dad. So we are glad we can send her something a little fun! Maybe a cookbook too!

So there you have it! I really appreciate all of the thoughtful comments and suggestions. Who knows if the transcription proves to be too hard for a senile ole bat like me...I might enjoy chicken sexing? I could do doggie daycare and sex chickens all day...I'm already changing my mind.

Will the winners please send me your address to alpacamountain@gmail.com

The giveaway!

OK here is the giveaway

I would promise you my first born...but I kinda like him, so I can't do that.

I am going to give you a generic resume and whoever comes up with the best idea of a job/career for me will win.

I have worked my entire life. I love to work and be around people...well nice people like you guys, not snotty bitches or leering men or screaming kids.

I want to be around normal people, or work from home would be great too cuz I need to smooch on Buddha at least every 20 minutes.

Here is what I have done so far:

Age 12....bussed tables

Age 15....cleaned the above bar and restaurant before I went to school

Age 16....breakfast cook at same restaurant

Age 16 married for the first time

Age 17....Quite school to go to work at a construction company, flagging for a pipeline that ran across the country

Age 18.....divorced..you seen that one coming right? Still flagging

Age 19....professional drinker and flagger

Age 20....flagger on I-70

Age 21....waitress

Age 21...carpet installer's helper, linoleum installer.

Age 22....painter of houses

Age 23....drywall finisher, more money than the painters

Age 28....decon washer. It was a federal job cleaning up mill tailings left behind from the Uranium mining many years earlier. Yes, Uranium is what killed my father...keep your fingers crossed for me.

Age 28-31...Safety Supervisor of job above.

Age 31...mommy, yes it ended the above career.

Age 32...mommy again...accckckkck

Age 35...started my own floral/greenhouse business, I don't do well with little crabby old ladies.

Age 39....Daycare provider...what was I thinking?

Age 40... Kindergarten Para-professional...again what the hell was I thinking?

Age 43...SAHM, Alpaca Madame, pooper picker upper, help hubby with office work, interior designer..cough.. and a devote Buddha lover.

Pretty scary huh?

I did get my GED in 1985 and I have done 2 years of college but I have yet to get an associate degree.

I'm a bit of an invalid. Because of my professional drinking career when I was 19...broke my knee skiing with a hangover. Three surgery's later I am a gimp.

My hands are getting arthritis from too many years of drywall work. So even though I still have all of my tools...I refuse to drywall.

My brain is broken from the kids (mine and other peoples).

Well hows that for an impossible task?

What kind of job/career should I pursue?

The BEST/favorite idea will receive a complete set of facial products from Skinlogics.

(...it was another one of my career choices gone bad. Last Christmas I was going to sell Skinlogics and have Spa Parties....sounds like fun huh? They even give away Mustangs to their top people! OH my...where do I sign? Only problem is that everyone and their sisters were doing the same thing around here...What I am trying to say is the stuff is fresh and not old.)

This set includes a facial scrub, moisturizer, cleansing gel, tonic and 1 oz of Regeneration tight, firm and fill cream.

This is the best selling package for Beauticontrol

The Second BEST/favorite idea will win the

Save your Sole set...it's yummy!

The Third BEST/favorite idea will win the

Creamy *Margarita* body lotion and Frozen *Margarita* foot cream

....this stuff will take you straight to the Bahama's...if only in your mind, just sayin...

And because I love you, I will throw in a jar of Herbal serenity aromatherapy instant manicure with this set. My favorite stuff :)

OK ladies and guys? Do I have any guys reading???

This is going to be hard because I have been home so long that I am afraid to go out and successfully get *that* job. I see stuff all the time and then I conveniently forget to go apply.

I am open to training/schooling for any thing that you come up with. As of today, I don't need a job for the money, but for my sanity.

If I only get one entry...you get it all, and I get to stay home and forget the whole deal...hahaha

The Outcome

I loved all of your answers...I went through the same feelings one by one.

I need to clarify the story a bit more for you.

First off the little boy gets bloody noses because of dry heat not because mom hits him....(I think!) No I'm sure.

Another thing I left out. Last year little boy was in this same daycare. Mom came to get him one day...earlier than normal, only to find her son locked in a high chair because he was out of control. Yeah, you guessed it. Mom told them that she would turn them in if she ever caught them doing that again and pulled him out of that daycare. She has been through the last 2 daycare in town since then. This little 4 year old likes to get into trouble. I also tried to watch him here in my home...he shoved my cat off of the 2nd floor balcony. I hated it, but I had to ask to get out of my obligation too.

Any way mom being out of choices, she HAD to return him to this questionable daycare under a new manager (mayors wife) plus old manager (high school principals wife) in tow.

You see, I know this girl and her rotten and adorable 4 year old boy from working together in the ABC daycare, several years back. She's sweet but she will never win mom of the year, but she doesn't down right abuse her kids either.

The outcome:

The said daycare called the police on mom after she dropped off the 4 year old and explained that he got another bloody nose. She jokingly said "probably cuz I smacked him for cussing". The daycare waited for her to leave and called the police, the social services and the county sheriff. The police showed up at her house at 9 pm that night telling her that they were going to take her kids away from her. Took pictures of the 4 year old, without his clothes on. Questioned her 6 year old daughter who was molested last year by a sicko boyfriend...I said she wouldn't win mom of the year. Got the grandma involved...it went on for days...well it still goes on. At the public school where this actually happened, the teachers gave her a glowing review to the police and SS. The police dropped anything they had because they didn't have enough to go on. The social services are still involved however. The dude from SS said he was going to do everything in his power to get this in front of a judge.

So there you have it. I am leaning towards mom because I know that she has requested a psych evaluation for the terrible 4 year old and I know her mom really well and grandma keeps those kids well taken care of.

It's just one of those things where you feel sorry for the kid and you do what I did, you jump in to help, only to find out that you are not anymore capable than the mom or the daycare. I know deep down the little boy just wants attention...good or bad...however he can get it. But whatta ya do? I kissed him way too much...when I see him in the grocery store I still get mooches from him, but I can't take care of him now because now I have the almighty and wonderful Buddha. Nothing must ever.happen.to.Buddha.

I am going to be doing a giveaway tomorrow.

It will require you to put your thinking caps on and help a sista out!

What would you do?

What would you do if a young single mom was picking her child up from pre-school to take him to daycare and the 4 year old boy throws himself down on the ground (mom has a broken ankle also) and screams at the top of his lungs "I don't want to go to the F***king daycare!!!" Mom promptly and swiftly smacks little boy in the mouth...not hard, but hard enough to get his attention. Little boy gets a bloody nose. But! you also know that this little boy gets a bloody nose at least once a day.

What would you do?

Call Social services?

The police?

Think to your self..."little shit deserved it"?

Talk to the mom?

I'm curious what you guys would do...leave me a comment and tomorrow or there abouts I will tell you what happened.

Dreams live on

When I was 26 or so, I used to go swimming at a place they called pinion. This fabulous swimming hole was about 10 miles from town and it was just beautiful. The river rocks used to fascinate me to no end. In fact I loaded up a bunch of them and built a rockin flower bed.

That's what I called it...rockin.

I even got hired by a housing contractor to bring in a bunch of them for Oliver Stone's cabin, that was being built outside of Telluride...they were beautiful and they made his fireplace a site to see. I think he got his $90's worth.

Anyway

I used to go swimming at pinion and on the way in you passed an old cabin that was falling down. I noticed several years in a row, that there were lilacs blooming every spring when I would take my dogs out to swim in the creek. It was too cold for a wimp like me...the water was fresh off of the mountain. I had to wait till mid July before I could force myself in. I could however sit for hours up there by the creek, there were only peaceful sounds and you could think without interruption for days I suppose.

Every time I would drive by the old cabin I would get a little sad...I wondered who lived there? Were they happy? Where did they go? It was after all, a beautiful place to live.

Jump ahead 10 years...I found out who used to live there.

My mom and her family. Her mom died shortly after they moved out of the cabin and moved into town. Grandma Ellen died of leukemia in 1953, my mom was 7.

This is the latest thing that my mom has sent to me to haunt me till my dying days. Funny thing is...the crazy bitch doesn't know that I used to hang out at the cabin. My Auntie told me, years after my time up there that, that is where they lived for a while.

Dreams live on

The walls of the old old cabin were weathered soft and brown.

The creek still sang by the doorway.

The fences were crumbling down.

The plowed ground taken over by the wild brush.

A dream here that proved to be in vain.

But straight and tall by the doorway the lilacs were

blooming again.

You could tell by the look of the cabin the years had been

many and long.

But a dream still lived in the lilacs long after the dreamer was gone.

Ellen Davis 1916-1953

My Grandma Ellen was a bit of a poet in her time. She had a few of her poems published. Although I couldn't tell you where.

Chemical Peels..anyone?

Has anyone ever had one? Do they hurt? My esthetician says that the one she uses has a built in numbing effect? Is she lying to me? OK you guys wouldn't lie to me would you?

I finally get 3 seconds to myself and now I have to go get kids in 20 minutes...

My son and mostly me got an A+ on our science fair project! The science teacher was so proud of me :) OK she was proud of Josh too.

Buddha is still a non housebroken little turd..literally. Now he likes to bark in the middle of the night, right in my ear. He hears the healer outside barking and running the deer off of my haystack and he has to tell everyone in the house what a good job she is doing. Little ass!

Could whoever commented as anon please sign your name to your comments...I am so paranoid that I will have to shut this blog down too. AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH MRS PARKS! You seriously don't want that! She got a, new to her, sewing machine and she knows how to use it now!

I don't deserve the dear and very sweet Mrs Parks!

Here I am getting "stuff" done and Mrs Parks in tending to my fading blog...what a sweet heart! I am going to have to send her puffy heart things for V day. Hmmm...flowers? Candy? A little Russian dude perhaps? Just kidding, sort of, about the Russian dude.

I have hit a huge major gigantic wall...I can't for the life of me think of anything to blog about??? Any ideas?

So I give you some funny pictures I got in an email...their kind of rude....so if you have tender eyes...don't look