Warning...This may make you sick!

I got nothing today, it snowed AGAIN...5 inches this time. It seems to melt off in one day, but still! It snowed again!

I haven't been posting my workout times because...I haven't been working out per say. I pick up pounds of alpaca poop and ounces of Buddha poo, does that count?

I shoveled snow for an hour this morning trying to find my truck???

Anyway...

Google or Wildblue are giving me fits today so I can't play on the computer if I want to keep my sanity.

So I leave you with this really, really bad Irish Joke!

BANK ROBBERY
Excerpted from an article about a bank robbery which appeared in the Irish Times on 2 March 1999: Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, a gang of raiders' efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safes combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio-tape system, one said, "At least we'll get a bit to eat," The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened. They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

Cancer insurance saleswoman?

I received an email this morning about a lady that is going door to door in my town selling different kinds of insurance.

It's pure bullshit, what she is doing is getting all of your personal info so she can steal your identity AND she is coming back when she thinks your gone.

Several peoples dogs have already tried to munch her, too bad they missed.

Remember I live 10 miles out of town and If you can find my house, you can steal everything in it. It's a joke of course, don't come looking for me...you will get lost.

But wouldn't that be funny if she did find me up here all alone and pissed off, cuz I have no life and all I ever do is clean, and I'm pms'ing? She might need some of that insurance she's selling. I could tuck her away somewhere and let Buddha chew on her till the po po's got here.

He he..I'll take entertainment however I can get it on this retched mountain.

Mwhuhuha

It's only time.

Einstein’s lock

It's that time again. While my hubby absolutely hates this one, I kinda like it, I get more done.

As I'm sure you all know I have way too many animals. Animals don't live by the clock, they go off of the daylight, well mine do anyway.

For the past 3 weeks I have been in tears first thing in the morning. You see my asshole black cat would come tearing ass across the bed around 4:30 AM, across Buddha, who in turn tears around the house with his little dog tags clanging together like the fucking liberty bell, while he chases asshole. Two weeks ago I started sleeping with a squirt bottle...I am deadly at 20 feet. Asshole hates water.

Today I figured it out...it was time for assholes breakfast...it's starting to get light out and all of the animals (not just asshole) think it's time to eat. So the animals have me trained already. He wasn't being an asshole after all...he was helping me train to get up an hour earlier. Now if I could just sick them all on the hubby my life will be awesome.

Hubby makes such a big deal out of this time change. He asks 40 times a day "What time is it? In old time?"

By May I want to hurt him.

I hope all of you working stiffs do ok in the morning.

Excuse me while I tear your face off

Have you ever thought about the fact that an entire nation knows how to drive by all of the same rules?

How cool is that?

Well except for the few asshats that come out when ever I have to go to town.

Apparently I can't read and I am a dummy...according to an 80 year old man that I tangled with yesterday. I went the wrong way in a parking lot (this parking lot was empty, save for he and I)...and he yelled to me that I needed to learn how to read and that I was a dummy!

A dummy!

This was towards the end of my day running around in the big town. I lost it on him. I never lose it while driving. I probably set the old farts ears on fire before I got done. And I am positive I taught him some new cuss words.

Why would you want to block someones way and tell them they are dumb all the while holding your hands up in the air? I did fit past him but he had to scoot over about a foot....grrrr.

It's too bad that courtesy isn't a nationwide learned behavior.

Even if you are my elder...you could still show some form of humanity.

In other news...it's snowing AGAIN! We have about 4 inches so far and it's still blowing sideways.

I am going to go off in a corner and snivel while sucking my thumb:(

There's no place like home Toto (Buddha)

OK the weather has gone insane here.

Remember the 3 ft of snow that I had last month? It's all gone and the mud is almost gone. This is the weather we should be having in April/May.

The wind is typical of March, however I have never been through a typical March with a dog that only weighs 6 lbs. I made the mistake of going to the grocery store with the dog and BOTH boys :(

If I hadn't been so irritated it was probably pretty comical....

I was putting grocery's in the back of the minivan while Buddha stood on the console up front well... a 60 mph gust of wind hit about the time I opened the back of the van. Buddha wound up on the floor and I had bags flying around me like birds on crack and the cart kept trying to roll up my butt and into my car and into the the car next to me. Needless to say it was pretty stressful and I am staying home today with my little dog tucked safely in the house!

Spring is a comin...and I'm a goin outside!
I will write more when someone beats me to come back in the house :)

Melancholy Monday

Go visit this place if you want to get all warm and fuzzy.

My bff that lives in Louisiana sent me these pictures of the rig that her hubby works on. I'm not sure how it caught on fire...she didn't write anything...she just sent me pictures of his platform on fire. That's how she rolls.