Princess Ditto

Princess Ditto

Friday, February 13, 2009

The giveaway!

OK here is the giveaway
I would promise you my first born...but I kinda like him, so I can't do that.
I am going to give you a generic resume and whoever comes up with the best idea of a job/career for me will win.
I have worked my entire life. I love to work and be around people...well nice people like you guys, not snotty bitches or leering men or screaming kids.
I want to be around normal people, or work from home would be great too cuz I need to smooch on Buddha at least every 20 minutes.

Here is what I have done so far:
Age 12....bussed tables
Age 15....cleaned the above bar and restaurant before I went to school
Age 16....breakfast cook at same restaurant
Age 16 married for the first time
Age 17....Quite school to go to work at a construction company, flagging for a pipeline that ran across the country
Age 18.....divorced..you seen that one coming right? Still flagging
Age 19....professional drinker and flagger
Age 20....flagger on I-70
Age 21....waitress
Age 21...carpet installer's helper, linoleum installer.
Age 22....painter of houses
Age 23....drywall finisher, more money than the painters
Age 28....decon washer. It was a federal job cleaning up mill tailings left behind from the Uranium mining many years earlier. Yes, Uranium is what killed my father...keep your fingers crossed for me.
Age 28-31...Safety Supervisor of job above.
Age 31...mommy, yes it ended the above career.
Age 32...mommy again...accckckkck
Age 35...started my own floral/greenhouse business, I don't do well with little crabby old ladies.
Age 39....Daycare provider...what was I thinking?
Age 40... Kindergarten Para-professional...again what the hell was I thinking?
Age 43...SAHM, Alpaca Madame, pooper picker upper, help hubby with office work, interior designer..cough.. and a devote Buddha lover.
Pretty scary huh?
I did get my GED in 1985 and I have done 2 years of college but I have yet to get an associate degree.
I'm a bit of an invalid. Because of my professional drinking career when I was 19...broke my knee skiing with a hangover. Three surgery's later I am a gimp.
My hands are getting arthritis from too many years of drywall work. So even though I still have all of my tools...I refuse to drywall.
My brain is broken from the kids (mine and other peoples).
Well hows that for an impossible task?
What kind of job/career should I pursue?
The BEST/favorite idea will receive a complete set of facial products from Skinlogics.
(...it was another one of my career choices gone bad. Last Christmas I was going to sell Skinlogics and have Spa Parties....sounds like fun huh? They even give away Mustangs to their top people! OH my...where do I sign? Only problem is that everyone and their sisters were doing the same thing around here...What I am trying to say is the stuff is fresh and not old.)

This set includes a facial scrub, moisturizer, cleansing gel, tonic and 1 oz of Regeneration tight, firm and fill cream.
This is the best selling package for Beauticontrol

The Second BEST/favorite idea will win the
Save your Sole set...it's yummy!

The Third BEST/favorite idea will win the
Creamy *Margarita* body lotion and Frozen *Margarita* foot cream
....this stuff will take you straight to the Bahama's...if only in your mind, just sayin...
And because I love you, I will throw in a jar of Herbal serenity aromatherapy instant manicure with this set. My favorite stuff :)
OK ladies and guys? Do I have any guys reading???
This is going to be hard because I have been home so long that I am afraid to go out and successfully get *that* job. I see stuff all the time and then I conveniently forget to go apply.
I am open to training/schooling for any thing that you come up with. As of today, I don't need a job for the money, but for my sanity.
If I only get one entry...you get it all, and I get to stay home and forget the whole deal...hahaha

14 comments:

jill jill bo bill said...

Okay, you totally crack me up. But I know you are too shy to do stand up comedy. With all your experience and contacts in construction, why don't you start an real-life OR online advertising network? The contractors would pay a monthly fee to advertise for them and people would go to you to find contractors. Everyone is looking for work and cheaper prices, so it's a win win.

Carolyn G said...

How about a job at a dog grooming or doggie daycare place. Or even a doggie daycare? It's perfect for you.

Megryansmom said...

Well since you don't need the money, send it to me. Hey, I'm not proud, I ask and someday somebody is going to say ok. Anyway, how about a volunteer at the hospital. They are always looking for people to show patients where to go and stuff.

Mrs Parks said...

WoW!
Married at sixteen?
And here I thought I was the only teenage bride around here, I got married when I was fifteen!
Ok, I'm going to go outside and smoke and drink coffee and think about this for awhile, I'll be back.

Snooty Primadona said...

Yay! I can comment! I can comment!

Sorry. I'm just so excited that I can finally comment. Actually, I downloaded the new Explorer 7 & I think it's making all the difference. Except I don't know where anything is on my toolbar, lol.

Have you ever thought about doing something like being a medical transcriptionist? The money is pretty good and you work from home.

I can't tell you how many different things I've done over the years to keep from having to work outside the home. Year before last I decided to try selling Silpada Jewelry. Unfortunately, so was everyone else. I'm now the proud owner of a LOT of Silpada Jewelry that I could never sell. I might have to think of a good giveaway scheme to get rid of the pieces I don't wear. Oh and hey... it was a great tax write-off. hehe

Mrs Parks said...

Ok, I'm still thinking, but so far I've come up with phone sex lady (you can even do that from the barn) and activities director at a homeless shelter.
Everyone likes arts and crafts and just because you don't have a house doesn't mean you cant enjoy a little hot glue and glitter.

Dee from Downunder said...

Mobile hydrobathing... vet assistant......

Z's Mom said...

You have led quite an interesting life....and I'm going to pray for your good health through all that Uranium business. I mean, if something happens to you....who will kiss Buddha? (can I have him?)

Ok, that was mean of me...sorry! (but I would like an alpaca too)

Ok, what should you do? Well, if you don't need the money, don't go work for anyone. That is just crazy talk. I would say volunteer. You love animals..you are great with them.....

Hey, I thought you were going to open a petting zoo on your farm. Charge people to come see your animals. Or was that me inviting myself to come see your animals? I don't remember...my son stole my brain too.

I think you take some computer classes. Creating website and such. It'll keep your mind busy, it won't hurt your knee....and you can do it at home so Buddha still gets his loving ever 20 minutes. It'll keep you sane too because you can waste HOURS on a computer and not even realize it. When you need fresh air....you are already at home with your pregnant alpacas.....VOILA!

Z's Mom said...

sorry for my poor grammar in my previous comment....I didn't realize I was a caveman tonight....

amelia bedelia said...

I am really at a loss as to what you should do because I think you should just stay home! Jill's idea was good but I like mine best! And please don't follow Marilyn. She's wacko!

Mrs Parks said...

Here's another one.
Chicken sexer.
Theres big money in sexing chicks.

Ronda's Rants said...

Okay...I have been thinking!
I think you should open your farm up to Alpaca visits...Say, a day caring for Ronda the Alpaca! Do a joint venture with a Bed and Breakfast down the street!
Or...have Rhonda come visit and take pictures of Alpacas and turn them into Greeting cards and notes with cute Alpaca quotes!
Construction here is yuck but maybe in your neck of the woods not so bad! Rather than actually still finishing drywall maybe you could estimate for companies!
I will keep thinking! Sending love!

Rhonda said...

Well, now how sweet is that that Ronda included me in your dream job? lol And that Ronda's one comment included three different R(h)ondas?? lol

I love the doggy day care idea, but how far up that mountain do you live? I don't know how far people are willing to drive....

You could become an alpaca breeder....

Medical transcription is okay, but trust me, it truly sucks to spend ALL day with other people's thoughts. It's degrading.

I'll keep thinking...

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